Omitted Opportunities: How We Miss Chances and Move On From Them
Illustration by Raenna Aldabe
Looking back at my own life, I often reminisce on opportunities that I had encountered. Without the opportunities that I had been given, I may likely have never written this blog post because I would have never joined the Beyond Thought Journal. Nor would I have likely accomplished many things in my life, if it was not for me seeing good opportunities and taking them. But through my recountings, I often rediscover missed opportunities that have passed by. I wonder if the chances I failed to take would have led me down a drastically different path, possibly even a better path in life. Many of us likely feel this way when it comes to missed opportunities; we question if the choices that we make for ourselves are the right ones, like in a choose-your-own-adventure story. This has left me considering how we view the opportunities presented to us, why we feel remorse because of what occurs, and how we choose to move on.
At one point in life, a person will be greeted with a significant choice. Perhaps they are choosing from multiple job offers, juxtaposing academic studies, conflicting relationships, and so on and so forth. In these moments a person determines their choice by anticipating where it will lead them, effectively predetermining their future, but also forfeiting the other presented option. Having to decline a new opportunity can be rather bothersome, as we seemingly turn a promising opportunity into a missed opportunity. That is how we see opportunity: to gain X, we lose Y. Of course, this is the rational way of thinking of the situation. Nonetheless, the fact that we must lose something still lingers after our choice. We wonder how that other choice would affect us. How it could produce an alternate future as a result of one different decision. These thoughts on what could be are both intriguing and irritating, as we are often left to wonder how the inverse of our decisions could have panned out.
Sometimes, we are lucky enough to have a glimpse at what could have been. Or rather, we are unlucky. I experienced this once in my final year of high school. Many high schools offer elective programs that are taken throughout the four years of attendance. But since students are usually only allotted one elective slot per year, they are basically locked into a program from their freshman year. When I was in this situation, I had many enticing options ahead of me. I decided to enroll in the Computer Assisted Design, or CAD, program. I was attracted to the design philosophies that it could teach me and stuck with it throughout high school. Fast forward to senior year and I was now part of the school musical, which was a dramatically different environment from CAD. It was my first time in any sort of performative production, as I was brought on as an ensemble to help bolster scenes. However, for many of my senior peers in the show, it was their fourth or even fifth show in school. Those kids had used their initial elective slots to join the theatre program. While I was working through CAD towards a design-focused career, they learned how to act in order to gain a thespian vocation. Even while we rehearsed tirelessly till opening night, it was apparent how much the theatre students loved their classes and the friends they had made along the way towards graduation. Assumedly in their eyes, they had all made the right decision. Through seeing the other students’ dedication and enthusiasm, it made me wonder if I would have preferred their educational experience. Theatre was offered to me the same as them, but I opted to forgo it. Yet there I was, becoming jealous. If I made one different choice, I could have lived the same experience that I envied. Some of you may empathize with this, because you may have been in a similar situation.
Possibly similar to you, my feeling of loss transformed into one of regret. As I was partaking in the musical production, I was becoming more and more frustrated with my CAD program. The lessons lacked new insights, the projects became stagnant, and my group of friends had drastically dwindled throughout the years. I still partook in it, but it just wasn’t the same as it was before. Due to my enjoyment of the musical and my annoyance with CAD, I often wondered if my educational selection was correct. Would I have been more satisfied with theatre? More fulfilled? More accomplished? These questions loomed over me as I reached the conclusion of both endeavors, unable to change what has been done.
Through my inquiry, I began to gain a better grasp on the relationship I have with my chosen and abandoned opportunities. I was concerned that my choice was wrong. However, I eventually realized that my choice is unique to me and my story. CAD class, though not entirely satisfactory, was another influential episode in my life. Without it, I would not have encountered the many values and ideals that I have today. CAD taught me to be diligent in my work, willing to organize, and determined to achieve my goals, even when they were far in the future. Those are things that I get to keep with me because of my choice. The same applied to the senior theatre students, for their choice led them down their own paths. This is how I conceptualize missed opportunities: though I couldn’t pursue one option that others may take, what I chose is mine alone.
If you can leave this post with any insight, it should be that the opportunities you take are the right ones. You may find yourself like me, envious and afraid of missing possibilities, but know that the decisions you made for yourself are still helping you down the right path.
